Friday, January 28, 2005

New national holiday

Bush's first act in his second term should be to create a new national holiday for those of us who love sex, death, and swearing all done with puppets. No, this isn't for Michael Jackson, it's so that all Americans can head to their local Wal-Mart to pick up their own copy of the movie that singlehandedly won Dubya the election (a movie that got totally snubbed by the Oscar's I might add, but at least Michael Moore didn't get nominated): Team America: World Police!

Everybody mark down April 5 as a day that will live in hilarity for years to come. I'm sure the national holiday is still in the paperwork stage but I'm sure Congress will pass it soon. That's why we wanted to gain those new seats, for important votes like this.

Hat tip to Professor Chaos for keeping up with these important announcements (via Witty Sex Kitten).

I can't believe it's been a whole week...

I know, I know... bad blogger (*light slap on the wrist*). I'm big fan of complaining, but I have never been so strapped for time as I have been this past week. Work and school, everyday, all day long. I barely even get to see the fetching Mrs. Wookie.

And since I don't have homework due today that I need to finish up here at work, I decided I'd toss a post or two up to make up for lost time.

As you know, I've been a big fan of Jack & Bobby on the WB, and last night (tgi TiVo or I'd never see a TV show again) they finally aired a new episode after their terrorist nuclear attack on US soil. I was all atwitter because I wanted to see how they were gonna spin that one: left, right, or center.

Well, you get one guess which way that one went. Here's a quote (or close to a quote) to help out: "red blooded Americans wanted their handed around the necks, slitting their throats, but Bobby didn't cave in to their desire for vengence when initial signs pointed to Saudi Arabia."

Isn't that special. I love the "red" reference thrown in as a jab at the unsophisticated red state rednecks. They later find out that while Saudi Arabian terrorists were involved, it was masterminded by a Timothy McVeigh type, because we all know America is it's own worst enemy and whatever happens it's our own damn fault (*sigh*). What a bunch of crap. Up to this point they'd done a pretty good job of swinging back and forth from left to right hitting both sides of the fence, but this was way over the top. Oh well, I guess we'll have to see what happens next week.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Fish for fugitive exchange

If only it were that easy.


LOS ANGELES - A San Pedro man was indicted Thursday for allegedly smuggling into the United States at least 160 Clarion angelfish that are indigenous to Mexico and protected under that country's law.

Craig Lightner, 40, arranged for the fish to be shipped to Los Angeles International Airport and failed to inform federal authorities, the U.S. attorney's office said in a statement.

The indictment charged Lightner with two counts of smuggling, four counts of making false statements to federal authorities and one count of obstruction of justice for instructing a customer to conceal the fish from federal agents.



All right Mexico. That's it! We've had it. If you ever want to see those fish again start sending us the US criminals in your country who are fleeing prosecution or else it's gonna be sushi for dinner.

And while we're at it stop distributing illegal immigration pamphlets to your citizens. Pretty soon we might even start enforcing our own laws and send them back to you. Then where would you be (via Say Anything).

Heh.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Today is the first day of the rest of your life...

...well, maybe the first day of the next for years of the rest of your life. Dubya got all sworm in and stuff. Didn't get to watch much of it, but... thank friggin' God!!







Rock on, Dubya. Rock on...


Barbara "Big Fat Liar" Boxer

When she starts spouting off it really makes me proud to be a Californian. Hugh Hewitt spent most of his show the day before yesterday ripping on Boxer as the dumbest Senator ever and when you actually start looking at the facts behind the drivel she blabbers on about it's pretty easy to see why. In fact when she was criticizing Condi Rice that we went to Iraq for "WMD, period" she was just flat out lying (via Little Green Footballs):

Whereas after the liberation of Kuwait in 1991, Iraq entered into a United Nations sponsored cease-fire agreement pursuant to which Iraq unequivocally agreed, among other things, to eliminate its nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons programs and the means to deliver and develop them, and to end its support for international terrorism;
...
Whereas Iraq persists in violating resolution of the United Nations Security Council by continuing to engage in brutal repression of its civilian population thereby threatening international peace and security in the region, by refusing to release, repatriate, or account for non-Iraqi citizens wrongfully detained by Iraq, including an American serviceman, and by failing to return property wrongfully seized by Iraq from Kuwait;
...
Whereas the current Iraqi regime has demonstrated its continuing hostility toward, and willingness to attack, the United States, including by attempting in 1993 to assassinate former President Bush and by firing on many thousands of occasions on United States and Coalition Armed Forces engaged in enforcing the resolutions of the United Nations Security Council;

Whereas members of al Qaida, an organization bearing responsibility for attacks on the United States, its citizens, and interests, including the attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, are known to be in Iraq;

Whereas Iraq continues to aid and harbor other international terrorist organizations, including organizations that threaten the lives and safety of United States citizens;
...
Whereas Congress has taken steps to pursue vigorously the war on terrorism through the provision of authorities and funding requested by the President to take the necessary actions against international terrorists and terrorist organizations, including those nations, organizations, or persons who planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, or harbored such persons or organizations;

Whereas the President and Congress are determined to continue to take all appropriate actions against international terrorists and terrorist organizations, including those nations, organizations, or persons who planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, or harbored such persons or organizations;

Whereas the President has authority under the Constitution to take action in order to deter and prevent acts of international terrorism against the United States, as Congress recognized in the joint resolution on Authorization for Use of Military Force (Public Law 107-40); and

Whereas it is in the national security interests of the United States to restore international peace and security to the Persian Gulf region: Now, therefore, be it
Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This joint resolution may be cited as the `Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002


The type of shameless political grandstanding is pathetic and as a constituent of hers, infuriating, and perhaps she might want to actually read some of the bills that she signs, but that's just a thought.

I've obviously never voted for her, and hopefully when she comes up for reelection Republicans can put someone up against her who might have a fighting chance of beating her.

Beyond that who is she to criticize Condi? Take a look at the credentials of each of them (sorry can't find any links, websense sucks). How many PhDs does Condi have? And if memory serves (I could be wrong because I can't check) Babs only has a Bachelors degree. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I think that Condi might possibly have the expertise edge there regardless of however many years Babs has been a Senator.

UPDATE: Fun at Cox & Forkum


Friday, January 14, 2005

Marines don't kill Iraqis, terrorists do.

I can hear the beatnik, hippie-tree-hugger, lefty moonbats now chanting about our boys overseas and all the poor helpless Iraqis they're slaughtering. Or we could take the word of a photographer embedded with the troops In Iraq for 365 (via Blackfive):

Then there were the QRF missions at which I had five minutes notice to go document a car bomb or something of the type. I think we photographed 20 car bombs. My first broke me in pretty good. It was just outside of city hall and there were body parts every where. I nearly broke down in tears when I saw this little foot that couldn't have been more than four inches long. The scene never got better; I just got used to it.


My only regret is that I only just found his blog on the day of his final post. Now I've got to go back and read a year's worth of posts. But I'm sure it will be worth the effort.

He's baaa-aaack

From Iowahawk, the writer of Johnny Nuance, comes the latest retro TV show, Inspector Dan Rather (insert Inspector Gadget theme music here: do duh do duh do Inspector Dan Rather do duh do duh do do doooo):

It was a quiet cold Monday at Black Rock. Too quiet, I thought, slowly polishing the lens on my trusty Sony VC6809. New York is not the kind of town that likes to keep secrets, and my tingling senses told me that somewhere in Gotham somebody was spilling some beans. And in my line of work, you get to know deep down in your gut those beans have a habit of being silent - but deadly.

My name is Rather. And I'm a dick.


There are thills...

I had just finished the final teleprompter read-through on the Alberto Gonzales caper (Dan Rather #31: The Sadist Wore a Sombrero) when a familiar figure sauntered into the studio.

"Look what the cat drug in," I smiled. "What brings you down to the salt mines, Captain Moonves?"

Moonves and I were once tighter than two cousins in a Kentucky hayloft. I helped show him the ropes at Black Rock back when he was a green rookie straight out of the programming academy, but lately I sensed tension between us after the release of the Nielsen Report (Dan Rather #29: The Case of the Missing Viewers).

"Can the wisecracks, newsreader," he sneered. "You've got a little date with Commissioner Thornburgh downtown."


...there are chills...

"Rather," he bellowed, "The Guard letters were on Starbucks stationery, and originally discovered in the trunk of Mary's '99 Hundai. Military officers do not address each other as 'Dude' and 'Bro.' Mary FedExed them to Terry McAuliffe six times for spell checking."

"No speaky Esperanto, Commissioner! What's your angle?"

"You ran the story seven days before contacting document experts, and when you did, they were recruited from a methadone clinic. You spent $47,000 of network money on a schizophrenic man who said he could build a steam-powered word processor and a time machine."

I planted my hands on the desk, and leaned over into Thornburgh's face.

"I see where this is all going, Commissioner. You're in on it too! You're just going to sit there and take it when there is a criminal in high office who stole over 20 XBox systems from Texas National Guard!"

"That's enough, Rather," he growled. "Turn in your microphone. You're suspended."

"Too late Thornburgh. I'm suspending myself, at full pay."


...and there are shameless blogger plugs as well. Tune into to Inspector Dan Rather at Iowahawk to catch the exciting ending!

Life catches up with you

Sorry about lack of posts over the past couple days. The new semester beginning coupled with a quick flight to San Francisco for an grad school interview have taken up all of my time. And thanks to the fetching Mrs. Wookie, I'll probably get the two classes I need (but couldn't register for because they were full) because she actually went to my classes for me schmoozed with the profs to make sure they knew I wanted the class even though I was missing half of the first week of classes.

How cool is that? The fetching Mrs. Wookie rocks!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

My nerdiness...

I am nerdier than 50% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

I thought I'd be about there. I guess I've got too much of a life to be any bigger of a nerd. Thanks to Evil White Guy for the link.


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Telluride Cyberguide is shutdown

That could become a reality for one man's business:

Al Heirich's Telluride Cyberguide is in jeopardy. Here's the quick and dirty. He runs a web site that helps people set up ski vacations. On this site he has provided information to his clientele about the upcoming Gay Ski Week and College Days.

After you read the excerpt from his online announcement below, decide for yourself whether you think Mr. Heirich is discriminatory:

Although this week should be fun for those not offended by alternative lifestyles, with scheduled events including: The Pleasure Hunt, The Blue Ball Dance, Drag Races and more, we are strongly suggesting that families concerned with exposing their children to the homosexual lifestyle and homosexual behavior schedule their vacations another time.

Events are planned throughout the week in both towns celebrating and promoting the homosexual lifestyle.

Due to the intense controversy this year in regards to this week, the public display of homosexual pride and behavior will most likely be greater than last year. If this offends you, this is not the time to visit Telluride.

Heirich says the Gay Ski Week warning is no different than a warning he has posted about college ski weeks, during which public drunkenness and lewdness normally increase.

Heirich's reward? He has been told by the Ski Resort to not link to them. Without the ability to link to them Mr. Heirich's Cyberguide is unable to provide lift tickets, lessons and other pertinent items to his patrons.


Rob's got the scoop on who to call and when the final date here. Sounds like the ski resorts are being too damn sensitive. I don't see anything wrong with updating vacationers with events and promotions that they may want to attend or avoid. From what I can tell, the resorts haven't done anything illegal, though it is possible they've buckled under pressure from Gay Rights groups, but that is an assumption. Anyway, help Al out. If you think he deserves to run his business as he sees fit, check the above site for contacts and let some people know about it.

The semester begins...

For those of you who've never taken classes at a junior college or community college, I find the classes to be easier but actually getting the class you want I find to be ten times as hard. This is the third semester I've tried to get the human anatomy class that I need and with only 2 classes offered in the evening 24 spots each things don't look good. The Monday/Wednesday class 24 people on top of those already registered tried to crash the class. I'm sure tonight's Tuesday/Thursday class will be the same. This really sucks. This is the last class I need before starting grad school in the fall, and it's starting to piss me off that I can't get in. I never had this problem at UC San Diego, why would the community college be any different?

Some would argue funding, but the answer to that is offer classes people want (it's not rocket science here people). Supply and friggin' demand. The community college could offer twice the anatomy classes because apparently people want to take the class, but if only 24 more people want to pay $50 bucks a unit for the damn class, that's $4,800 (4 units x $50 x 24 students = $4,800). That coupled with normal government funding should be enough, and if it's not they need to trim the fat from the system.

That being said, here's a memo for Moorpark Community College: Open up another anatomy section, dammit! You can expect a student petition shortly.

Thank you.

Monday, January 10, 2005

24

As I said earlier, TiVo is still the greatest invention on earth (internet a close second). And last night a great new season of 24 started with two back to back hours, but thanks to the miracle that is TiVo, I started watching 30 minutes after the first hour began and caught up to real time just before the end of the program having fast forwarded though all the commercials (that is damn cool).

Anyway, it's a great show, but every so often does get a little repetitive as they try to fill minutes between explosions. I think at one point in the first 30 minutes or so three characters say the exact same phrase, which was a bit of a "Duh!" moment. But the writers really spared no expense throwing in tons of actions in the first episode: train derails, SecDef is kidnapped, Jack shoots a suspect, Jack has a stand off at gunpoint with his partner, and a terrorists shoots his partner. That's a lot for the season premier. I didn't expect Jack to go apeshit until at least hour 5, but hey they kidnapped his girlfriend at the same time, so go figure.

But it's still a great show, and tonight's 2 hours look to be just as good. Same bat time, same bat channel.

UPDATE:

Jack is going nucking futs so far this season. Disobeying direst orders, holding up convenience stores, taking hostages (including a policeman), and getting into a showdown situation with cops. Unbelievable! I can't wait until next week!

UN Oil for Food documents

This is why the internet is the second coolest ever (TiVo is still number one, but it's a tight race). A great new blog The Counterterrorism Blog has all the audits of the UN Oil for Food program. Take a little time and browse through and you can read about the UN caving into Saddam's pressure for more money, the UN greasing the palms of "local authorities and supervisors" for "additional tasks performed and costs incurred" who were extremely "dissatisfied" with the report's findings, and that the UN acted before fully considering the legal and political ramifications. Go check out all the documents if you have a day or two to kill.

Duh. But hey, at least you know Fox News and Halliburton didn't make it up.

And major kudos to The Counterterrorism Blog. It appears that they'll be a daily must read.

Friday, January 07, 2005

In Good Company

OK, so I only looked into it for the free tickets, and honestly when I heard Hugh mention In Good Company and their free-tickets-for-a-link-from-a-blog promo I couldn't even remember which movie that was. I heard "free" and like a pavlovian blogger I started salivating. So I went and checked the site out (after work of course, friggin websense), and when I saw the main page with Topher, Dennis, and Scarlett I thought, "Oh, thaaaat movie."

I'd seen a few commericals and it looked like it was just going to exploit the uncomfortable situation of young boss/old employee and dating the daughter of your subordinate. But I figured if I'm going to link this movie I ought to see the trailer, and I was thoroughly impressed. It's by the director of About a Boy (great film even though Hugh Grant is in it) and the trailer makes it look much more like a life story, coming of age film (which I love) rather than a cheap drama. I actually do want to see this one.


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
*shameless plug*

How seriously do you take your vacationing?

I was always under the impression that vacations were supposed to be relaxing not serious, but apparently when timeshare salesmen talk, it's serious.

The fetching Mrs. Wookie and I attended a sales presentation las night for a nouveau timeshare concept. In the past few years there have been some amazing advances in the area; they don't actually sell property anymore, it's all about the credits. Yes for just a few hundred a month for the rest of your life you get credits to spend at your discretion on any of the company's timeshares worldwide or you can trade them with other timeshare companies for access to their properties. Just like baseball cards.

But if you like salesmen, sales pitches, and hard selling, this is for you. Our salesman, John Kerry (names have been changed to protect the innocent) must have absolutely hated the fetching Mrs. Wookie and myself. I paid my dues for a year or so doing sales, and found it as less than optimal for myself, but the fetching Mrs. Wookie took to sales like a democrat to tax hikes. We know the tricks of the trade in sales as well as different styles salesmen use, and we did everything we could to come across as less than optimal targets.

John Salesman Kerry's first question: "How important are vacations to you? Do you take vacationing seriously?"

Wookie: "No."

John Salesman Kerry: "Uuhhh, OK... What do you do with your time off?"

Wookie: "Visit with friends and family."

John Salesman Kerry: "When was the last vacation you took?"

Wookie: "6 months ago."

John Salesman Kerry: "Good. How long was that? A week or more?"

Wookie: "4 days."

John Salesman Kerry: "Oh. Well, is vacationing a priority for you?"

Wookie: "No."

John Salesman Kerry: "This program probably isn't for you."

Wookie: "Can we get our free stuff now?"

After watching their 20 mintue movie, John Salesman Kerry gave us his last ditch effort, threw up the white flag like a good French wuss, we got our free 3 days in Vegas, and we took off. That was really the only reason we went in the first place unless they were going to be giving these credit/token thingy's away for next to nothing. The fetching Mrs. Wookie works full time and trains as a triathlete and I work and go to school. We don't have time for more than a day here and a day there, and it' always last minute.

Hopefully the poor salesman doesn't hate us, but hey they offered the 3 day Vegas trip with no strings attached. It's their own damn fault.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

UN is trying really, really hard...

... to help the tsunami victims. They've even gone ahead and set up a five star hotel with 24 hour catering for themselves because who can help starving, dehydrated, sick, and dying people ravaged by a natural disaster on an empty stomach. They've brought in their best coordinators and coordinator supervisors to coordinate their subordinate coordinators... it's all very coordinated:

Via Diplomads -
More on "The UNcredibles": WFP (World Food Program) has "arrived" in the capital with an "assessment and coordination team." The following is no joke; no Diplomad attempt to be funny or clever: The team has spent the day and will likely spend a few more setting up their "coordination and opcenter" at a local five-star hotel. And their number one concern, even before phones, fax and copy machines? Arranging for the hotel to provide 24hr catering service. USAID folks already are cracking jokes about "The UN Sheraton." Meanwhile, our military and civilians, working with the super Aussies, continue to keep the C-130 air bridge of supplies flowing and the choppers flying, and keep on saving lives -- and without 24hr catering services from any five-star hotel . . . . The contrast grows more stark every minute...

The UN continues to send its best product, bureaucrats. Just today the city's Embassies got a letter from the local UN representative requesting a meeting for "Ms. Margareeta Wahlstrom, United Nations Deputy Emergency Relief Coordinator and the Secretary-General's Special Coordinator for Humanitarian Assistance in Tsunami-afected countries." Wow! Put that on a business card! And she must be really, really special because she has the word "coordinator" twice in her title!



Go read more of Diplomad's posts. There are some true gems there.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Zarqawi reportedly arrested

This is excellent news (via Got Design) if true (Drudge updates: White House questions labels sources as dubious), especially for a country expecting to hold an election in just a few weeks. With Zarqawi in prison, you hope it follows a decapitating-the-beast-and-it-dies situation instead of a hydra where in place of the one head cut off, three grow in its place.

I believe we will see a short term increase in violence, a kind of last dying gasp, before it starts to sputter out. That's my prediction (if this all pans out to be true of course).

The Wookie has spoken.

Happy Birthday to me!

Yep, it's my birthday. Send me presents.

Monday, January 03, 2005

2005 predictions

Iowahawk once again impresses with his 2005 predictions. I'll bet that about 75% of these come true:

January

1 - Thanks to morbid hangover, Iowahawk mercifully sleeps through Iowa's 31-17 shellacking by LSU in Capital One Bowl

4 - Southern Cal nips Oklahoma in college championship game; victory fails to soothe USC's psychic wounds from Sooner fans' hurtful taunts about "Trojan" nickname

19 - Presidential inauguration ceremony interrupted by masked ninja legal paratroopers from MoveOn.org; ailing William Requist pummels helpless assailants with famed gavel 'El Diablo'

30 - Iraqi elections marred by lack of good network video graphics

February

6 - Pittsburgh edges Green Bay in Super Bowl XXXIX; Steelers' big win overshadowed by controversial John Madden 'wardrobe malfunction'

14 - Annual Valentine Day arrest of rabbit-weilding Maureen Dowd outside Michael Douglas mansion

27 - 'Passion of the Christ' wins special film industry Oscar for "inspiring Hollywood messiah complex"

March

2 - Clarence Thomas nominated as Chief Justice of Supreme Court; axe handle- wielding Patrick Leahy blocks courthouse door, vows "centrism today, centrism tomorrow, centrism forever"

20 - Keith Olbermann takes over CBS anchor desk as retiring Dan Rather announces plans to buy Kinko franchise; CBS News chief Andrew Hayward says 60 Minutes internal investigation due out "any year now"

26 - Thomas hearings delayed as nominee chased from chamber by firehoses, ACLU German Shepherds


April


5 - New DNC chairman Howard Dean announces official party name change to "Progressive Berserkers"

15 - Massive layoffs feared at Minneapolis Star Tribune after hostile takeover by Powerline

18 - Saddam Hussein convicted of crimes against humanity; Kofi Annan offers space in UN "Scared Straight" deliquent dictator program

23 - Barry Bonds passes Ruth with 17th homer; torso explodes

May

2 - Barry Bonds caps amazing comeback by winning Kentucky Derby; pays $18.50-$12.20-$6.40

18 - Oliver Stone kicks off summer movie blockbuster season with release of "Alexander 2 - Electric Boogaloo"

22 - Martha Stewart appears on Today Show interview sporting teardrop tattoo, spurs homemaker fashion craze

June

4 - Champion Indiana Pacers hospitalize 350 spectators in NBA Finals

7 - Minivans break 9 second quarter mile barrier as rising summer gasoline prices prompt motorists to switch to nitromethane

21 - citing desire for "meaningful life," Paris Hilton takes vows as Benedictine nun, inks deal with Fox for new summer reality series "Nasty Habits"

July

2 - Violence mars opening of new Filene's Basement in Bagdhad as local insurgent women battle for closeout bargains

11 - National heatwave as temperatures soar into the 80s and 90s; global warming, angular earth rotation suspected

20 - Iraq descends into chaos as I-25 construction, HOV lanes snarl Basra morning commute; Rumsfeld blamed for lack of Morning Zoo Crew traffic copters


August

5 - Europe descends into chaos as Speedo factory strike threatens traditional 12-week vacation season

9 - Violence wracks Iraq as US Marines battle insurgent Reuters staffers in Fallujah

22 - Crawford, Texas scene of mass suicide, as dozens of reporters self-immolate to protest covering annual Bush vacation

September

10 - Ohio State dismisses entire football team, band in wake of bribery-necrophilia-anthrax scandal; plucky OSU subs Jim Tressel and Andy Geiger fall to Texas, 35-17

11 - HBO commemorates fourth anniversary of 9-11 with 'Sex and the City' marathon

24 - Michael Moore's 'Sicko' bombs at box office, as blue state audiences flock to rival docu-comedy 'Jihadi R Us' by hot new critical darling Osama bin Laden

October

4 - League leading Chicago Cubs eliminated from NL race after Wrigley Field consumed by mysterious moaning anthropomorphic mist; manager Dusty Baker dismisses "curse" talk

17 - Disappointing attendance at Oktoberfest after Germany's new Islamic coalition government announces death fatwah against beer drinkers

30 - Yankees defeat Mets in subway World Series, $186,000,000 to $112,000,000; nobody west of the Hudson River gives a shit

November

6 - Senator Hillary Clinton announces exploratory committee for 2008 Presidential bid, names new team of eunuchs to bear gilded sedan chair

19 - The undefeated #1 Iowa Hawkeyes vault into the national championship game with a 49-3 drubbing of Wisconsin; later, my 'shrooms wear off

28 - Chicago marks 500th homicide of the year, renewing calls for US withdrawl from Illinois quagmire

December

11 - Dow breaks 12,000 on 5.2% unemployment rate; women, children, minorities hit hardest

19 - NY Times reports secret US military torture camp at Guantanamo Bay for spyware and spam programmers; Bush approval rating rockets to 93%

31 - Iowahawk gets to work on morbid hangover



I'd add:

8/27/05: Pope John Paul II dies in his sleep. Cardinals select sleeper candidate Mel Gibson as new head of Catholic Church.

10/13/05: The NHL enters second year of strike. No one south of Minnesota notices.

New Year slackers

For those of you too lazy to come up with resolutions of your own, fear not! Geek-foo has come to the rescue with their random resolution generator. And if you don't like it you can always try again (via Fistful of Fortnights):

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Eat the worm.

Get your resolution here


Ooooh, no. I had already resolved year's ago never to drink tequila straight from the bottle again...

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Watch more TV.

Get your resolution here


Please, I'm a professional couch potato. I don't need any help there...

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Become anti-social.

Get your resolution here


I'm already there. People are stupid. Next resolution...

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Become one with my inner sociopath.

Get your resolution here


Sweet! Everyone always says that I'm too nice...

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy New Year!

Here's a toast to all of you out there still drinking:

Here's to you and here's to me
I pray that friends we'll always be,
But if by chance we disagree,
The heck with you and here's to me!

- Irish Blessing