Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Deep thoughts by Scott Adams

The man is a true comic genius, and his blog is a must read everyday for a good laugh. Take today's post for example. It's even funnier if you think like Jack Handey.

Here’s some more ammo to stir up things at your next gathering of inebriated relatives. Ask the following question:

Who is holier – Mother Teresa or Bill Gates?

Set the scene by pointing out that on Mother Teresa’s side of the ledger is her lifetime of spiritual inspiration and her good works helping the poor. Not too shabby.

On Bill Gate’s side, we have his targeted philanthropy – for vaccines and whatnot – that will probably end up saving the lives of 100 million people. And I think there’s a good chance he’ll convince his good friend Warren Buffet and perhaps others to do similar things with their own fortunes. So let’s add another 100 million for secondary effects. You could talk me down to an estimate of 10 million eventual saved lives, but still it’s a big number.

This should get the adults jabbering. Once they’re preoccupied denouncing Bill Gates as the Devil’s henchman (oh, it’ll happen), slip away and find where the smaller kids are playing. Round up the ones in the range of 5 to 8 years old and ask them this question:

If Santa Claus fought Jesus, who would win? Tell the kids that grandpa will give $5 to whoever comes up with the best answer.

Then leave the house as quickly as possible.

For no other reason than it's fun, I pick Mother Teresa as holier than Bill Gates. If he had siad who's done more good for humanity there'd be a serious argument for either, but holier I think points to Mother Teresa. And if Jesus fought Santa, the winner is Jesus... hands down. He'd mop the floor with Santa. Santa's on the tubby side (too many cookies). Sure he can suck it in to fit down the chimney, but that's not nearly good enough. And, hello... Jesus is God. Think bolts of lightning, water to blood, plagues of locusts, boils, burning bushes, and death of the first born. Isn't Santa an only child?

That's it, where's my $5?