Friday, December 02, 2005

Gratuitous groping gorilla post

Ace of Spades is just too funny discussing the Koko the gorilla sexual harassment case...

The lawsuit, seeking more than $1 million in damages, focused fresh attention on Koko, already well known for her purported American Sign Language vocabulary of more than 1,000 words.
Turns out 600 of those words were just synonyms for hooters, like "chesticles," "Mommy sacs," and "sweater stretchers."
"We all want to get this behind us and move on with our lives," said Stephen Sommers, representing the plaintiffs.
I find this statement amusing for some reason.
"This is the first time and hopefully the last time the Gorilla Foundation will have to deal with anything of this type," said the nonprofit's attorney, Todd Roberts.
I doubt it. The rate of recidivism among nipple-obsessed bi-curious sign-language-speaking knocker-kongs is distressingly high.

A separate suit has not yet been settled.
It alleges that she was forced to display her breasts to the lowland gorilla seven or eight times to cater to Koko's obsession with nipples.
Again, it's just so unlikely I'll have the chance to quote a similar sentence I have to do so again.

Something about the whole post just makes me smile.

The gorilla said nipple...