Tuesday, May 16, 2006

It's a sign of the apocalypse! Jack Bauer was wrong!

The end of days is quickly approaching! Jack Bauer was wrong TWICE during the last hour!

First Jack disagreed with Frau Blucher and Chiggy Killer's choice to give RoboCop immunity in order to prevent another possible terrorist attack. C'mon jack lives are in the balance and without the tape RoboCop's life is forfeit. With no safety net the Halliburton gang led by the one-armed wonder doc Romano will surely eliminate RoboCop. He needs to help you out of his own self interest. Chiggy even had to play the "WWDPD" card (What Would David Palmer Do). Jack check that trendy bracelet and go with Chiggy on this.

Jack's second mistake (three words I never thought I'd utter... or type) was not trusting RoboCop. Sure he was helping terrorists and a traiterous president in their attempt to kill innocent civilians for oil and nearly killed your girlfriend. But let bygones be bygones, sing Kumbaya, meditate over it. It's all water under the bridge. He nearly had the other terrorist guy fooled into downloading all the information you needed onto a handy little flash drive for easier consumption. But you blew it and busted in too early and stopped him. That gives Chloe twice as much to do and half the time to do it, and she can't work under those conditions and be her normal chipper self. Not possible.

Anyway. Other sundry items... Jack nearly kills kiss-ass Miles; instead we have to settle for a bitchslap from Frau Blucher. Big Boobs Logan kills a secret service agent saving Whiskey Pierce. And a sub full of Russians get gassed as part of Vlad's backup terrorist plan. Just when you thought it was almost over Jack now gets to hijack a submarine and a plane all within a 6 hour period. I thought you had to wait 24 hours between flying and diving? Or is it like eating, you've only got to wait a half an hour?

Don't forget to submit your posts for the Carnival of Bauer! Yours truly is the host this week, and I'll try to make sure I'm not late getting it together like the Llamas were (who also forget to put in my 24 post. You really can't trust a Llama to do anything right, can you?). So get those 24 posts ready and click the link or go through Blogs 4 Bauer to submit those posts!

And as always your Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM...

Fool Chuck Norris Jack Bauer once; shame on you. Fool him twice; good-bye teeth.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer believes strongly in ending world hunger. He plans to do this by terminating the populations of all third world countries.

Obi-wan trained Luke. Qui-gon trained Obi-wan. Yoda trained Qui-gon. Chuck Norris Jack Bauer trained Yoda.