Cake or Death: Call the UN! ...or Instapundit at least! Iowahawk's gone nuclear!

Al Gore says global warming is YOUR fault!
"He betrayed this country! He played on our fears!"
You don't say...

September 18th, 2007

Fed Cuts Benchmark Rate Half Point, Seeking to Forestall Recession in U.S. - "The Federal Reserve lowered its benchmark interest rate by a half point to 4.75 percent, the first cut in four years, to protect the U.S. from sinking into a recession sparked by fallout from the housing-market collapse. 'Today's action is intended to help forestall some of the adverse effects on the broader economy that might otherwise arise from the disruptions in financial markets,' the Federal Open Market Committee said in a statement after meeting today in Washington. The central bank will 'act as needed to foster price stability and sustainable economic growth.' Stocks surged, two-year Treasury notes rose and the dollar fell to a record low against the euro. The larger-than-forecast reduction suggests Chairman Ben S. Bernanke is prepared to leave himself open to criticism that he's rescuing investors from bad decisions for the sake of saving the six-year expansion."
U.S. Producer Prices Drop More Than Forecast; Foreclosures on Homes Double - "The 1.4 percent decrease, the biggest since October, followed a 0.6 percent increase in July, the Labor Department said today in Washington. So-called core prices, which exclude fuel and food costs, rose 0.2 percent after a 0.1 percent gain the month before. Slower inflation gave policy makers room to cut their benchmark rate today in an effort to sustain the expansion in the face of a housing recession. A drop in fuel expenses pushed prices down in August and cooling economic growth will continue to restrain raw-material costs, economists said."

September 14th, 2007

U.S. Retail Sales, Output Rise Less Than Forecast, Adding to Rate-Cut Case - "The 0.3 percent increase in sales during August followed a revised 0.5 percent gain in July, the Commerce Department said today in Washington. Purchases excluding automobiles unexpectedly fell 0.4 percent. Production gained 0.2 percent, with factory output declining for the first time since February. While a report from the University of Michigan and Reuters Group Plc showed consumer confidence increased, their sentiment index remained near the lowest level in a year. Treasury notes rallied after the retail sales and production reports, before losing the gains."

September 13th, 2007

Greenspan Says He Didn't Foresee Credit Rout, Endorses Bernanke, CBS Says - "Current Fed Chairman Ben S. Bernanke 'is doing an excellent job,' Greenspan said in an interview on the 60 Minutes program, according to excerpts e-mailed by CBS today. The show is scheduled to air on Sept. 16, a day before the publication of Greenspan's book, 'The Age of Turbulence.' The remarks come amid criticism among some investors that Bernanke has failed to be as forceful as his predecessor in responding to financial turmoil. Greenspan in 1998 cut interest rates three times after a Russian debt default rippled through global markets. Bernanke's Fed has refrained from lowering its benchmark so far, relying on other tools to provide liquidity."
Commercial-Paper Market Decline in U.S. Slows as Concerns Over Credit Ease - "U.S. stocks rose and Treasuries fell after the Federal Reserve reported short-term debt dropped by $8.2 billion, compared with a decline of $31.3 billion a week earlier. That coincided with Countrywide Financial Corp. obtaining new financing and banks finding buyers for loans to fund Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.'s buyout of Alliance Boots. Issuers with the biggest chance of default had stopped trying to sell commercial paper, rekindling appetite for short- term debt, said Tony Crescenzi, chief bond market strategist at Miller Tabak & Co. in New York. 'Investors have already pushed out the weakest issuers,' Crescenzi said in an e-mail. 'The commercial paper that remains is a relatively more respected crop.'"

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Call the UN! ...or Instapundit at least! Iowahawk's gone nuclear!

It has been confirmed... Iowahawk has succesfully tested nuclear-tipped cherry bombs and fully-fissionable bottle rockets! We must stop him before he takes out another Cedar County Highway Maintenance truck!

It can also be confirmed that there was no such danger as radioactive emission or finger-loss in the course of the testing as it was carried out under scrutinous scientific consideration and careful calculation, and with one of those long-tipped Bic fireplace lighters. Also to insure safety, it was more than one hour after the Central Defense Committee's last round of scientific bong hits.

Scientific analysis reveals that the historic launch was conducted with pinpoint accuracy and flawless execution, resulting a glorious fireball as it streaked across the access road into county maintenance truck. Mark this official forwarning, Cedar County Highway Maintenance: half-life isotope calculations by Chuck indicate the truck will be unsafe for usage until next Wednesday, and Iowahawk cannot be liable for mutations of your foolish crews!

This marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased Iowahawk and the many patriotic peoples of Lakewood Mobile Home Park that have wished him to have powerful self-reliant defense capability and a prosperous refridgerator stocked in Olde English 800s. It is unsurpassed in glory and the its praises will be sung by the children for a thousand years! Well, obviously not the same children, for the entire thousand years, because those first children would eventually grow up and be dead after 100 years, 110 years tops. I'm assuming there would be probably be some sort of gradual rotation system to add fresh singing children.

We cannot bow to his demands. We must prevent him from restocking his nuclear glowstick payload as well as his rockets of peaceful stability, no matter how many cases of Olde English 800 he holds hostage...

Labels: nuclear weapons

Link to me! Posted by jwookie : 3:49 PM

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