Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Audrey's dead... and in other news...

Jack takes it easy again this hour, takes a nap, gets his busted rib wrapped, cries over Audrey's dead... file. And who spills the beans but none other than the newly widowed Mrs' Romano the one armed wonder doc. Right after she tried to plant one on Jack.

So Jack takes a personal moment while vice president Curly Bill and his gang of cowboys do everything in their power to nuke the Middle East back into the stone age. First he says, if they nuke us again, we'll nuke 'em back. Then after Jack stops that nuke, he says we're gonna nuke 'em anyway.

Looks like the Arabs just can't win. Sure he's just going to level off a few mountains in Dirkadirkastan, maybe kill about 20 people and 20,000 goats; it's the principle of the thing. Why waste a perfectly good nuke redecorating the landscape and killing off a few goats when you can go for the jugular and wipe the whole country off the map?

Since no one appreciates vice preisdent Curly Bill's decorating tastes, looks like their gonna try to wake president Chapelle from his coma to save the day. We'll have to wait to see how that works out.

But bigger than the impending nuclear holocaust: Nadia's a mole!!!!! Nooooo! Say it ain't so Nadia! What happened to the token hot Muslim Republican chick at CTU!!!

And as we mourn Nadia's impending death at the hands of Jack, I give you our weekly Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:
Chuck Norris Jack Bauer once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.

When Chuck Norris Jack Bauer wants a back massage, he lays down on railroad tracks.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer invented EZ Squeeze Cheeze. He got the idea from crushing a man until his intestines came out of his mouth.

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