Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Jack Bauer finally gets to rest

This was Jack's hour to recharge after getting knocked out, beat up, and thrown down a flight of stairs.

Instead we get that spoiled brat, who had the train runnng through his house, Richie Rich running the show. And apparently all that money couldn't keep him out of the military, a government job, or get him a face lift. Man he looked old...

And former president weasel continued to try to weasel himself into the government's good graces by insisting that only he can convince his ex-wife, big boobs Logan to call up the Russian president's boss, his wife, in an effort to stop an international incident at Jabba the Hut's embassy. And props to Red for bagging the former first lady. Sure she's in the looney bin for crazy rich people, but she's his crazy rich lady. That's what's important.

And about the time big boobs was driving that steak knife into her ex-weasel's carotid, Jack was taking a short nap after having a small bite to eat and finally getting a chance to pee after what, 12 hours now? Maybe longer because, really, what are the chances the Chinese let him pee on that flight back to the US...

So after a relaxing, day at the beach for Jack I give you, your Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:

Chuck Norris's Jack Bauer's golf score is always 18 because they put the hole wherever his ball lands.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer has never been charged with murder, this is becuase the government realizes he is simply cleansing the gene pool.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer doesn't use toilets. His colon actually compresses his waste to the point of nuclear fusion. The resulting energy is converted into electricity which powers Las Vegas.
That actually explains a lot...

Labels: ,