Cake or Death: Jack Bauer finally gets to rest

Al Gore says global warming is YOUR fault!
"He betrayed this country! He played on our fears!"
You don't say...

September 18th, 2007

Fed Cuts Benchmark Rate Half Point, Seeking to Forestall Recession in U.S. - "The Federal Reserve lowered its benchmark interest rate by a half point to 4.75 percent, the first cut in four years, to protect the U.S. from sinking into a recession sparked by fallout from the housing-market collapse. 'Today's action is intended to help forestall some of the adverse effects on the broader economy that might otherwise arise from the disruptions in financial markets,' the Federal Open Market Committee said in a statement after meeting today in Washington. The central bank will 'act as needed to foster price stability and sustainable economic growth.' Stocks surged, two-year Treasury notes rose and the dollar fell to a record low against the euro. The larger-than-forecast reduction suggests Chairman Ben S. Bernanke is prepared to leave himself open to criticism that he's rescuing investors from bad decisions for the sake of saving the six-year expansion."
U.S. Producer Prices Drop More Than Forecast; Foreclosures on Homes Double - "The 1.4 percent decrease, the biggest since October, followed a 0.6 percent increase in July, the Labor Department said today in Washington. So-called core prices, which exclude fuel and food costs, rose 0.2 percent after a 0.1 percent gain the month before. Slower inflation gave policy makers room to cut their benchmark rate today in an effort to sustain the expansion in the face of a housing recession. A drop in fuel expenses pushed prices down in August and cooling economic growth will continue to restrain raw-material costs, economists said."

September 14th, 2007

U.S. Retail Sales, Output Rise Less Than Forecast, Adding to Rate-Cut Case - "The 0.3 percent increase in sales during August followed a revised 0.5 percent gain in July, the Commerce Department said today in Washington. Purchases excluding automobiles unexpectedly fell 0.4 percent. Production gained 0.2 percent, with factory output declining for the first time since February. While a report from the University of Michigan and Reuters Group Plc showed consumer confidence increased, their sentiment index remained near the lowest level in a year. Treasury notes rallied after the retail sales and production reports, before losing the gains."

September 13th, 2007

Greenspan Says He Didn't Foresee Credit Rout, Endorses Bernanke, CBS Says - "Current Fed Chairman Ben S. Bernanke 'is doing an excellent job,' Greenspan said in an interview on the 60 Minutes program, according to excerpts e-mailed by CBS today. The show is scheduled to air on Sept. 16, a day before the publication of Greenspan's book, 'The Age of Turbulence.' The remarks come amid criticism among some investors that Bernanke has failed to be as forceful as his predecessor in responding to financial turmoil. Greenspan in 1998 cut interest rates three times after a Russian debt default rippled through global markets. Bernanke's Fed has refrained from lowering its benchmark so far, relying on other tools to provide liquidity."
Commercial-Paper Market Decline in U.S. Slows as Concerns Over Credit Ease - "U.S. stocks rose and Treasuries fell after the Federal Reserve reported short-term debt dropped by $8.2 billion, compared with a decline of $31.3 billion a week earlier. That coincided with Countrywide Financial Corp. obtaining new financing and banks finding buyers for loans to fund Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.'s buyout of Alliance Boots. Issuers with the biggest chance of default had stopped trying to sell commercial paper, rekindling appetite for short- term debt, said Tony Crescenzi, chief bond market strategist at Miller Tabak & Co. in New York. 'Investors have already pushed out the weakest issuers,' Crescenzi said in an e-mail. 'The commercial paper that remains is a relatively more respected crop.'"

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Jack Bauer finally gets to rest

This was Jack's hour to recharge after getting knocked out, beat up, and thrown down a flight of stairs.

Instead we get that spoiled brat, who had the train runnng through his house, Richie Rich running the show. And apparently all that money couldn't keep him out of the military, a government job, or get him a face lift. Man he looked old...

And former president weasel continued to try to weasel himself into the government's good graces by insisting that only he can convince his ex-wife, big boobs Logan to call up the Russian president's boss, his wife, in an effort to stop an international incident at Jabba the Hut's embassy. And props to Red for bagging the former first lady. Sure she's in the looney bin for crazy rich people, but she's his crazy rich lady. That's what's important.

And about the time big boobs was driving that steak knife into her ex-weasel's carotid, Jack was taking a short nap after having a small bite to eat and finally getting a chance to pee after what, 12 hours now? Maybe longer because, really, what are the chances the Chinese let him pee on that flight back to the US...

So after a relaxing, day at the beach for Jack I give you, your Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:

~~Chuck Norris's~~ Jack Bauer's golf score is always 18 because they put the hole wherever his ball lands.

~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer has never been charged with murder, this is becuase the government realizes he is simply cleansing the gene pool.

~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer doesn't use toilets. His colon actually compresses his waste to the point of nuclear fusion. The resulting energy is converted into electricity which powers Las Vegas.

That actually explains a lot...

Labels: 24, Jack Bauer

Link to me! Posted by jwookie : 9:35 PM

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