Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Jack Bauer hates foreign diplomatic consulates...

I think we should support Jack's personal war on consulates. Foreign punks claiming US soil as sovereign property! How dare they! Jack should have every right to break into any building in the US and torture its occupants if it's in the interest of national security. Any building in the world for that matter! Especially ones containing slimy Russians that look like Jabba the Hut who harbor terrorists. I mean really... did you see his saggy skin folds? Eww...

Anyway, that's two seasons and two wars on Asian consulates. Maybe Jack just doesn't like Asians? Don't see many Asians working at CTU. That's kinda weird... With all the high tech gagdetry around a sourpuss white chick and her British shoe salesman, ex-hubby are the best techies the American government can afford? No wonder the US keeps getting attacked by terrorists!

But at least they will employ hot, Muslim, Republican women, so there is some hope...


And now, without any further ado, your Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:

When asked his opinion about the war in Iraq, Chuck Norris Jack Bauer said "Those Iraqis are lucky we got an army, cause if we didn't I would be forced to over and beat the tar out of every individual within my perimeter". He then roundhoused the reporter and walked off in anger.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer was recently credited with finding a new race of people living in his chest hair.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer will become president in the year 2008 after he beats every member of the electoral college in a 537 to 1 caged death match.
If only...

Labels: ,