Cake or Death: Mr. President... You owe me.

Al Gore says global warming is YOUR fault!
"He betrayed this country! He played on our fears!"
You don't say...

September 18th, 2007

Fed Cuts Benchmark Rate Half Point, Seeking to Forestall Recession in U.S. - "The Federal Reserve lowered its benchmark interest rate by a half point to 4.75 percent, the first cut in four years, to protect the U.S. from sinking into a recession sparked by fallout from the housing-market collapse. 'Today's action is intended to help forestall some of the adverse effects on the broader economy that might otherwise arise from the disruptions in financial markets,' the Federal Open Market Committee said in a statement after meeting today in Washington. The central bank will 'act as needed to foster price stability and sustainable economic growth.' Stocks surged, two-year Treasury notes rose and the dollar fell to a record low against the euro. The larger-than-forecast reduction suggests Chairman Ben S. Bernanke is prepared to leave himself open to criticism that he's rescuing investors from bad decisions for the sake of saving the six-year expansion."
U.S. Producer Prices Drop More Than Forecast; Foreclosures on Homes Double - "The 1.4 percent decrease, the biggest since October, followed a 0.6 percent increase in July, the Labor Department said today in Washington. So-called core prices, which exclude fuel and food costs, rose 0.2 percent after a 0.1 percent gain the month before. Slower inflation gave policy makers room to cut their benchmark rate today in an effort to sustain the expansion in the face of a housing recession. A drop in fuel expenses pushed prices down in August and cooling economic growth will continue to restrain raw-material costs, economists said."

September 14th, 2007

U.S. Retail Sales, Output Rise Less Than Forecast, Adding to Rate-Cut Case - "The 0.3 percent increase in sales during August followed a revised 0.5 percent gain in July, the Commerce Department said today in Washington. Purchases excluding automobiles unexpectedly fell 0.4 percent. Production gained 0.2 percent, with factory output declining for the first time since February. While a report from the University of Michigan and Reuters Group Plc showed consumer confidence increased, their sentiment index remained near the lowest level in a year. Treasury notes rallied after the retail sales and production reports, before losing the gains."

September 13th, 2007

Greenspan Says He Didn't Foresee Credit Rout, Endorses Bernanke, CBS Says - "Current Fed Chairman Ben S. Bernanke 'is doing an excellent job,' Greenspan said in an interview on the 60 Minutes program, according to excerpts e-mailed by CBS today. The show is scheduled to air on Sept. 16, a day before the publication of Greenspan's book, 'The Age of Turbulence.' The remarks come amid criticism among some investors that Bernanke has failed to be as forceful as his predecessor in responding to financial turmoil. Greenspan in 1998 cut interest rates three times after a Russian debt default rippled through global markets. Bernanke's Fed has refrained from lowering its benchmark so far, relying on other tools to provide liquidity."
Commercial-Paper Market Decline in U.S. Slows as Concerns Over Credit Ease - "U.S. stocks rose and Treasuries fell after the Federal Reserve reported short-term debt dropped by $8.2 billion, compared with a decline of $31.3 billion a week earlier. That coincided with Countrywide Financial Corp. obtaining new financing and banks finding buyers for loans to fund Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.'s buyout of Alliance Boots. Issuers with the biggest chance of default had stopped trying to sell commercial paper, rekindling appetite for short- term debt, said Tony Crescenzi, chief bond market strategist at Miller Tabak & Co. in New York. 'Investors have already pushed out the weakest issuers,' Crescenzi said in an e-mail. 'The commercial paper that remains is a relatively more respected crop.'"

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Mr. President... You owe me.

Damn.

Jack's got cajones the size of basketballs to make a statement like that. The Fetching Mrs. Wookie and just about fell off the couch when he said that. Who else could possibly put the President of the most power country in the world behind the eight ball like that? And sure, president Chapelle isn't nearly as gutsy as his brother, but still he stone-cold bluffed the diplomat from Dirkadirkastan with an actual nuclear launch. Sure it turned out the missile was a dud but that's a damn good bluff.

And Jack pushes him around like a chess piece. Jack's got his Jack sack full of C4 to use as his insurance that the stolen, Russian nuke-bits don't actually make it into the hands of the Chinese. The assumption is of course that Jack would kill himself rather than start World War III, but we're forgetting that Jack is the creator of "the force," the original Jedi. A little Jedi mind trick here and some levitation there, and we've got a bunch of dead Chinamen.

Then Jack gets to snuggle with Audrey again. As long as her nose doesn't get in the way...

And with that happy thought in mind, I bring you this week's Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:

~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer only brakes for people dressed like ~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer.

~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer once killed 5 people in less than a second. The only thing he said after this incident was, "Damn it, when ~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer doesn't want Girl Scout cookies, ~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer doesn't want Girl Scout cookies."

When ~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer wants espresso, he simply gets a bag of whole bean coffee, and glares at it until his cup is full of the nervous sweat and tears of the coffee bean.

Heh.

Labels: 24, Jack Bauer

Link to me! Posted by jwookie : 3:15 PM

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