Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Mr. President... You owe me.


Jack's got cajones the size of basketballs to make a statement like that. The Fetching Mrs. Wookie and just about fell off the couch when he said that. Who else could possibly put the President of the most power country in the world behind the eight ball like that? And sure, president Chapelle isn't nearly as gutsy as his brother, but still he stone-cold bluffed the diplomat from Dirkadirkastan with an actual nuclear launch. Sure it turned out the missile was a dud but that's a damn good bluff.

And Jack pushes him around like a chess piece. Jack's got his Jack sack full of C4 to use as his insurance that the stolen, Russian nuke-bits don't actually make it into the hands of the Chinese. The assumption is of course that Jack would kill himself rather than start World War III, but we're forgetting that Jack is the creator of "the force," the original Jedi. A little Jedi mind trick here and some levitation there, and we've got a bunch of dead Chinamen.

Then Jack gets to snuggle with Audrey again. As long as her nose doesn't get in the way...

And with that happy thought in mind, I bring you this week's Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer only brakes for people dressed like Chuck Norris Jack Bauer.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer once killed 5 people in less than a second. The only thing he said after this incident was, "Damn it, when Chuck Norris Jack Bauer doesn't want Girl Scout cookies, Chuck Norris Jack Bauer doesn't want Girl Scout cookies."

When Chuck Norris Jack Bauer wants espresso, he simply gets a bag of whole bean coffee, and glares at it until his cup is full of the nervous sweat and tears of the coffee bean.

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