Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Audrey's alive?? Noooooo!!

Just when you thought it was safe again. Just when you though the danger was over. Just as soon as Jack hitches a ride underneath the terrorist's garbage truck, locates their secret hideout, singlehandedly kills all the terrorists, strings Fayed up from the nearest yardarm, and gains control of the remaining suitcase nukes; who decides it's that moment to call Jack out of the blue?


Yep, she's back and contrary to previous reports, she's very much alive. And now it's the Chinese shot at Jack. Again. I mean really... talk about bad days. Can this really get any worse for Jack? Sure it can, the only question is how.

So I'm betting now that Audrey dies; some Chinese guy kills her and makes Jack watch. How they tie it into national security, I don't know. I mean we've got a few hours left before the day's over, so how is Audrey being held hostage put the nation at risk? If Jack tries to save her, do the Chinese attack?

And what was with that secret plot to let Fayed escape? That was a horrible conspiracy (nevermind that it worked) because it was so complicated. But still it wasn't as bad as Captain Dudley's sooper-dooper conspiracy. So hopefully all those Loose Change nuts were taking notes; government conspiracies never work. Some mid-level bureaucratic nitwit ends up spilling the beans and the whole plan goers to crap. That's why the government couldn't have pulled off 9/11. It couldn't be that organized and efficient if it wanted to.

And now your Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM:
Michael Jackson wrote the song "Bad" while pretending he was Chuck Norris Jack Bauer.

If Chuck Norris Jack Bauer were an Olympic athlete, the Olympics would be canceled. Every four years they would just mail Chuck Norris Jack Bauer his 237 gold medals.

The total number of deaths from World War II is 52,199,262. Chuck Norris Jack Bauer is 2 kills from breaking that record.

UPDATE 4/12 @ 12:01pm: Check out the Carnival of Bauer being hosted this week at Remote Access. Funny stufff!

Labels: ,