Thursday, October 21, 2004

How to spot a liberal

Kudos to Pajama Journal for this post. To quote Sun Tzu, "Know thine enemy, so thou can pound thine enemy in upcoming elections." Actually that may have been Machiavelli, or perhaps Hugh Hewitt, but I'm not sure. Whoever said it, this is funny:

  • The main diet of the liberal is tofu and granola. This makes them puny and easy to throw.
  • Liberals will try to entice you with their twisted logic. Counter with a bitch slap.
  • Hanging a picture of Ronald Reagan over your door will keep liberals from entering
  • Liberals are against nuclear weapons but have yet to suggest a soy-based substitute that can obliterate cities.
  • If you see a fuel-effecient car, it's probably being driven by a liberal. Run it off the road with your SUV.
  • Liberals are constantly inflaming the culture war. They seem to forget which side has all the guns.
  • The most dangerous predator of liberals is the real world. They hide from it in college campuses.
  • Inspired by rhyming slogans and giant puppets, liberals sometimes congregate into groups known as "protests." The purpose of these is unknown.
  • Liberals are always whining about tolerance, but when I punch them for that, they get moody. Hey, Be tolerant!

Truth is funnier than fiction.