Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Return of Chef!

They brought Chef back and let it rip!

It starts showing how Chef left town to search for meaning in this horrible life by joining the Super Adventure Club Scientology. Months later when he returns the kids notice something's kinda weird about Chef. First they spliced old Chef dialogue together to form new sentences, so he's speaking all choppy. And secondly, all he wants to do now is "make sweet love to you children."

That's right, they turned him into a pedophile. Of course the school officials and cops get involved and the kids go on a mission to save Chef. They're convinced that he's been brainwashed. So they trek to the Super Adventure Club Scientology headquarters and confront the leader who admits everything. Parker and Stone then satirize themsleves and the Scientology episode they did that had the tagline at the bottom that said "This is what Scientologists actually believe" with one that said "This is what the Super Adventure Club actually believes" and proceeded to explain their long history of abusing kids because they believed they got energy from the kids that made them live forever.

They return to South Park, and take Chef to a shrink to un-brainwash him. The recommended treatment? Strip Club. That snaps Chef back into lovin' the ladies until the Super Adventure Club Scientology freaks hit him with a tranquilizer dart and take him back to their compound to re-brainwash him.

But it's the kids to the rescue! They break in and rescue Chef but as they leaving and crossing the rope bridge to leave the compund, lightning strikes and the bridge collapses. Chef plunges 100s of feet to the bottom of the ravine where he is promptly torn to shreds by a mountain lion and grizzly bear.

To mourn the loss of their friend, Chef, South Park has a memorial where Stan gives the eulogy.

We're all here today because Chef was such an important part of our lives. A lot of us don't agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days. Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the last week take away the memories of how chef made us smile. I'm gonna remember Chef as the jolly old guy who always broke into song. I'm gonna remember chef as the guy who gave us advice to live by. So you see we shouldn't be mad at chef for leaving us, we should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brain.

Truer words have never been spoken... by a 8 year old cartoon character at least.

Adios Chef! We will miss you!

But no! That's not the end! The Super Adventure Club Scientology freaks take Chef's body at put him back together. They put him together as Darth Chef!

I wonder if they got James Earl Jones to do the voice?