Cake or Death: Terrorists attack CTU; Jack Bauer's pissed

Al Gore says global warming is YOUR fault!
"He betrayed this country! He played on our fears!"
You don't say...

September 18th, 2007

Fed Cuts Benchmark Rate Half Point, Seeking to Forestall Recession in U.S. - "The Federal Reserve lowered its benchmark interest rate by a half point to 4.75 percent, the first cut in four years, to protect the U.S. from sinking into a recession sparked by fallout from the housing-market collapse. 'Today's action is intended to help forestall some of the adverse effects on the broader economy that might otherwise arise from the disruptions in financial markets,' the Federal Open Market Committee said in a statement after meeting today in Washington. The central bank will 'act as needed to foster price stability and sustainable economic growth.' Stocks surged, two-year Treasury notes rose and the dollar fell to a record low against the euro. The larger-than-forecast reduction suggests Chairman Ben S. Bernanke is prepared to leave himself open to criticism that he's rescuing investors from bad decisions for the sake of saving the six-year expansion."
U.S. Producer Prices Drop More Than Forecast; Foreclosures on Homes Double - "The 1.4 percent decrease, the biggest since October, followed a 0.6 percent increase in July, the Labor Department said today in Washington. So-called core prices, which exclude fuel and food costs, rose 0.2 percent after a 0.1 percent gain the month before. Slower inflation gave policy makers room to cut their benchmark rate today in an effort to sustain the expansion in the face of a housing recession. A drop in fuel expenses pushed prices down in August and cooling economic growth will continue to restrain raw-material costs, economists said."

September 14th, 2007

U.S. Retail Sales, Output Rise Less Than Forecast, Adding to Rate-Cut Case - "The 0.3 percent increase in sales during August followed a revised 0.5 percent gain in July, the Commerce Department said today in Washington. Purchases excluding automobiles unexpectedly fell 0.4 percent. Production gained 0.2 percent, with factory output declining for the first time since February. While a report from the University of Michigan and Reuters Group Plc showed consumer confidence increased, their sentiment index remained near the lowest level in a year. Treasury notes rallied after the retail sales and production reports, before losing the gains."

September 13th, 2007

Greenspan Says He Didn't Foresee Credit Rout, Endorses Bernanke, CBS Says - "Current Fed Chairman Ben S. Bernanke 'is doing an excellent job,' Greenspan said in an interview on the 60 Minutes program, according to excerpts e-mailed by CBS today. The show is scheduled to air on Sept. 16, a day before the publication of Greenspan's book, 'The Age of Turbulence.' The remarks come amid criticism among some investors that Bernanke has failed to be as forceful as his predecessor in responding to financial turmoil. Greenspan in 1998 cut interest rates three times after a Russian debt default rippled through global markets. Bernanke's Fed has refrained from lowering its benchmark so far, relying on other tools to provide liquidity."
Commercial-Paper Market Decline in U.S. Slows as Concerns Over Credit Ease - "U.S. stocks rose and Treasuries fell after the Federal Reserve reported short-term debt dropped by $8.2 billion, compared with a decline of $31.3 billion a week earlier. That coincided with Countrywide Financial Corp. obtaining new financing and banks finding buyers for loans to fund Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.'s buyout of Alliance Boots. Issuers with the biggest chance of default had stopped trying to sell commercial paper, rekindling appetite for short- term debt, said Tony Crescenzi, chief bond market strategist at Miller Tabak & Co. in New York. 'Investors have already pushed out the weakest issuers,' Crescenzi said in an e-mail. 'The commercial paper that remains is a relatively more respected crop.'"

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Terrorists attack CTU; Jack Bauer's pissed

You knew something horrible was going to happen when Calamity Kim showed up at CTU with her psycho-babble boyfriend. I like how they're pissed off Jack's alive. She's still gorgeous and all, but was it just me or did she look a little chipmunk-cheeked to you? WTF? She better kick her head-shrinking boytoy to the curb for making her look chubby before Jack shoots him in the leg like he shot Robocop's wife. Or it could have been the fact that she had five layers of clothes on. In LA. Big boobs Logan walks around flaunting her stuff; what's up Kim? Less clothes next time, kay?

And way to go you fat, stupid hobbitses. Your coked-out sister sold you out, and now you're probably dead along with half of your coworkers. No more second breakfasts for you! They even killed Truffle Shuffle! He needed to diet, not die. Now they've sealed themselves in a room surrounded by nerve gas. I bet Jack comes close to smacking Kim's boyfriend in the next episode. Maybe they toss him out of the room to test to see if the nerve gas has dissipated like those canaries miners take down with them.

I have no clue what the death count on this one's going to be. There's gotta be at least 50 or 60 dead.

And now your moment of Jack:

The evolution theory states that everything evolved from one living being. ~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer is that living being.

~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die; he then gave the story to Johnny Cash in return for his mortal soul.

One day ~~Chuck Norris~~ Jack Bauer was infact killed when he round house kicked someone in the face so hard that it shattered the universe. But in heaven, ~~Chuck~~ Jack challenged God to an arm wrestling match. ~~Chuck~~ Jack won, and the universe was reformed.

Indeed.

UPDATE @ 9:37am: Added B4B's pics above and they lowballed the death count at 14 (no way it's that low). But if that sticks I called the count at 13. We'll have to see who kicked the bucket at CTU next week. Hopefully there's at least one dead hobbit.

Link to me! Posted by jwookie : 9:29 AM

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