-Make sure to yell very simple requests.
-Use at least 5 exclamation points in every email!!!!
-Ask "Who are you working for!?" to as many people as possible.
-Throw out a "Dammit" during the day, just for the hell of it.
-Drink each time you hear a co-worker say "Dammit".
-Make a mistake at work? Blame Nina Myers.
-Request everything be sent to your PDA (works best if you don't have one).
-Accuse co-workers and/or children of being moles.
-Make sure to let your co-workers catch you looking at Google Earth maps of their houses. When they ask why, tell them that you've tracked a terrorist cell to that location.
Co-worker: How was your weekend?
You: damnit Bob, we don't have time for simple questions.
Co-worker: I just asked about your weekend.
You: Dammit. Who are you working for?
Co-worker: Never mind, forget I asked.
Co-worker: Hey man. Did you already get breakfast?
You: I've killed 3 people today and no I've yet to eat breakfast. Dammit!
Co-worker: Is that a threat?
You: That's not a threat, that's a fact.
Boss: Hey, where are the reports I asked for?
(pull out stapler, move towards boss)
You: I think the question you should be asking is how are you going to read the reports after I staple your eyelids to your desk!