UN is investigating US detention torture allegations
Now before you read the story, think of something totally slapstick stupid and that's probably not as dumb as this:
"Sir, you were just released from prison for being a suspected terrorist how do you feel?" It's like asking the loser of the championship game, "How do you feel right now?" What kind of moron is going to ask that question. Oh wait. We are talking about the UN.
Oh good God. They have a special torture expert. And praytell what makes him an expert. I want to see his qualifications and unless there's mention of time spent being tortured, he should just shut up right now about these "serious" allegations we put women's underwear on their heads and made them stand naked for hours at a time. That sounds like your average weekend Frat party.
Rumors. You just said serious two seconds before. Do we really have time to allow UN probes into every rumor that they some loony makes up because he's bitter he was forced to live in a tropical paradise for a few months and forced to eat three square meals a day simply because he held beliefs that allowed him to blow up innocent civilians? Is that really fair?
More "experts." I still want to see their scars from the times they were tortured that makes them experts.
Oh, that's great. He can give us an anal probe on a whim because he answers to no one.
Duh. Maybe it's because they have total autonomy to investigate any passing fancy on western countries while turning a blind eye to their own country.
Sweet, they're throwing around hefty titles again. Unfortunately all it means is mid-level paper pusher. And all they can do is "encourage [us] to cooperate" because we all know nothing will happen if we say no. What will they do to us, coordinate us to death, because Lord knows they sure can't actually enforce their rules. That conversation would be: "Cooperate." "No." "OK."
Make up your minds. In the span of 2 minutes these "reports" have gone from "serious" to "rumors" to "persistent and credible." Are they getting these from the Weekly World News?
I can see it now. "Mr. President we got another memo from the UN for top-level consideration" "Go put it in the fireplace with the others. At least we can use them to keep the fire going." Diplomats with the U.S. Mission to the U.N. in Vienna said they weren't authorized to respond to Nowak's comments.
How long ago was abu Ghraib and they're just concerned about it now? And I'm interested in finding these clandestine prisons. When they find those maybe they can find those coandestine WMDs that have been eluding them and us for so long. Oh and I've heard Wonder Woman's invisible jet is lost. I'm sure she'd appreciate the help since they've obviously got nothing better to do.
Yeah we'll allow the Red Cross because they actually put (some of) their money where their mouth by doing good work for the poor around the world. I can't believe these guys. How much more useless can they get? |