Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Nobody sucker punches Jack Bauer!

I just about fell off my couch last night when SecDef Heller sucker punched Jack in the throat (but it would bode well for the future Blogs 4 Bauer Fight Club match I suggested last week, SecDef Heller vs. President Weasel. Thumbs up to the SecDef on that one). Instead of taking Jack and Audrey's evidence against the Weasel in Chief and taking him down in flames, he wants to go reason with him. Right. We all know that's not gonna work... And he didn't even take the tape with him!!

So the SecDef has Jack and his daughter tied up so he can go chat with the Weasel. Jack gets them free, pulling the ballsy move of the show and burning his bindings and wrists on the flaming hot pipe. You could see his wrists smoking! Talk about will power... So Jack takes down the Secret Service detail that Heller left behind to guard them and right after disarming the agent RoboCop arrives and things really start to go to hell.

Back at CTU Chloe's been found out and taken into custody for her role in assisting Jack and Audrey evade Frau Blucher's surveillance, but she shows off her pickpocketing skills, stealing HLS weenie's access card. But on the way out, Anita Hill's red-headed step child (and resident CTU hottie) tries to stop Chloe. But the "I'll tell on you" card is no match for the "I'll recommend you for a psych eval since you're a sexual harrassment freak" card. So she escapes to go enlist help for Jack from our recently fired Chiggy Killer.

In the mean time, Heller meets with the Weasel in Chief and tries to strong arm him into resigning do to stress from one long-ass day and suddenly, President Weasel looks like the spineless, wimpering idiot we've come to know and love this season. So Heller writes up a resignation letter and tells the Weasel to bring in the VP as a witness.

As they are about to sign the Weasel's resignation letter, RoboCop takes Audrey prisoner cuts her brachial artery and we get to watch her bleed to death (almost) as RoboCop uses her to get Jack to hand over the tape Henderson made with the Weasel. (He was young and needed the money... sorry bad Richard Gere-hamster joke). With the tape RoboCop calls the Weasel just as the VP comes in to witness the resignation. Once the Weasel learns Heller has no evidence now, Weasel turns the situation against Heller and demands his resignation for the accusation.

Damn. A lot happened this episode. On a quick side note, I'm not so sure I like the "War for Oil" turn the show is taking with President Weasel... Seems like the writers had a momentary bout of Bush Derrangement Syndrome as they wrote this part of the script and took a hard left turn...

But on a happier note, don't leave without your Jack Bauer Moment of ZenTM...

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer can never sleep. One nightmare from Chuck Norris Jack Bauer would destroy everything in a 5,000 mile radius. [This explains why Jack doesn't ever seem to get tired...]

King Kong climbed the empire state building to get away from Chuck Norris Jack Bauer.

Chuck Norris Jack Bauer is considered a weapon of mass destruction, and George W. Bush has men working 24/7 to make sure he's not buried somewhere in Iraq.